During our walk to the post office today, we spotted a guy who can only be…The Snitch.™
Not to be confused with The Stig, The Snitch is believed responsible for the variety of violation letters that the HOA sends out to the community residents. He was riding a basket-equipped bicycle, carrying a thick stack of papers scribbled with myriad arcane notes in one hand and a can of beer in the other. He would stop at random points on the street, pull up in a driveway and appear to be adding further notes to his paperwork.
It’s possible that the HOA hires this guy — or he volunteers his time with them — to catch people with driveways that are too dirty, walls that are starting to show mold, etc. Although this thought may be worthy of an eye-roll, even worse is the idea that The Snitch does all of this at the behest of no one because he enjoys sounding the alarm over every perceived fault.
You are requested to lock your doors, shutter your windows and shield your women and children from the watchful eye of…The Snitch.
(On a side note, the “Who’s Online” feature of this blog is broken after yet another plugin upgrade, so I’ve written that functionality out of the site because I no longer have the patience for the continuous fuckery it requires. A eulogy for this fallen functionality will commence at half past never. Thank you.)
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Going About It The Wrong Way
By Chief Oddball on April 23rd, 2007 at 10:41 am
Filed under Commentary, Rants ··· 7 Comments
I’ve been getting more and more interested in finding things we can do at home to help be more friendly to the environment. And yesterday was Earth Day. But seriously, if the “Hollywood elites” want people to get on board with the green movement, some of them are clearly going about it the wrong way.
Are you insane? Are there not more useful, entry-level things you can ask people to do, Sheryl? Like switch to fluorescent light bulbs? Or turn off the lights when they leave a room? Or turn the water off when you brush your teeth? If you start encouraging people to make easy changes that they can live with, they’ll be more likely to voluntarily want to do more. If you ask them to do something ridiculous, like wipe their butt with one square of toilet paper — is that even possible? — they’ll just tune you right out and not listen to anything else you have to say.
Hell, I know I’m going to tune you out, Sheryl, because your disconnection from reality shows you’re apparently out of your mind. In fact, I have half a mind to deliberately ensure I never ever buy another album or song you have any part in.
And next time, Sheryl, just ask people to buy a bidet.
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