Not ours, at least. This time, it’s an HOA in Pagosa Springs, Colorado, which has ordered resident Lisa Jensen to take down her holiday wreath that’s shaped like a peace symbol (pictured at right). The association is using a covenant that bars signs “that can be considered divisive,” after a handful of residents actually complained about the wreath.

Some of the complainers seemed disturbed that the peace symbol was really a subliminal way of dissing the war in Iraq. (Yeah, like that war is really working so well right now.) Others, though, were upset because they saw the peace sign as “a symbol of Satan.” Uh, maybe they’re thinking about a pentagram? I didn’t grow up in the ’60s or anything, but since when has a peace sign ever represented Satan?

Unfortunately, it looks like these misinformed few have captured the attention of Bob Kearns, president of the association, who seems to have made it his personal mission to make Jensen take her wreath down. Jensen, in an ironic twist, was a former president of this very same association! Hmm, do I detect some political motives here?

In case you haven’t sniffed the stink of political corruption yet, try this on for size: When Bob Kearns ordered the HOA’s architectural control committee to require Jensen to remove her wreath, the committee dissented, concluding instead that it was merely a seasonal symbol that didn’t say anything divisive. Kearns responded by firing all five members of the committee.

This news just underscores the danger that comes with granting otherwise ordinary busybodies pseudo-police powers by electing them to an HOA. As we are perhaps witnessing here, it can become a vehicle for these grouches to “get back at the Joneses” through irrepressible legal methods, often to the financial ruination of entire families. Just another reason why Apple and I will be looking for residences outside the purview of such an entity as we make plans for our next home.

Apple was up at the salon getting her hair cut this morning when she happened to overhear the following pearl of wisdom from an old fuddy-duddy sitting nearby:

“Why are we paying for all those Americans who are getting evacuated from Lebanon? What a waste of our tax dollars! They should have known better than to go there, and why are we having to pay for them to be rescued?”

Unidentified old poop head

The hairdresser who was listening to this old woman’s rant didn’t say anything, probably because he couldn’t think of a rational enough response to such selfishness.

Yes, violence in the middle east has flared up to new heights, which isn’t entirely unexpected given the region’s history. Yes, some Americans actually vacation in Beirut — not all vacations necessarily involve lying on a beach developing melanoma; some folks actually like to visit other cultures or learn the history of one of the world’s elder civilizations during their time off. And yes, these people are citizens of our country, who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Why shouldn’t our government (and by extension, us) help extract them from harm’s way? I can think of far worse uses for our tax dollars, personally.

These are the kinds of attitudes that develop when you sit around all day long in your bunker and never interact with another member of human society. Your world shrinks to the size of your living room, and you begin to think that if a government program does not benefit you personally in some way, then it’s a waste of time, money and labor. Personally, I hope that old fudgepacker someday winds up in a distant country while on vacation, a war breaks out, and in response to her pleas for help, the government says, “Sorry, we think saving your life is an inefficient use of our citizens’ tax dollars, so good luck and we hope you don’t die.”