Invigorated
Hey, where’s the post about the giant robot angst? Suffice it to say, I’ll finish the second part of my Evangelion-themed entries a little later than I expected. In the meantime, my attention has been bouncing like a pinball from one new idea to another, and by now, my minor rediscovery of anime is only one facet of my overall sphere of inspiration.
The creativity explosion that I mentioned having recently has been fueled even further by events of this week. On Wednesday evening, after my work was done for the day, Apple and I went back to the Sittara Spa (first written about here) for a two-hour Thai massage. Apple had experienced one already during this trip, and she wanted me to try it as well. I’ve only had two full-body massages in my life, one of which — a Swedish massage I had at a Thai resort during our 2004 vacation — was pretty good, and the other of which was terrible. When it comes to massage, I feel like I could take it or leave it. Apple really wanted me to try Thai-style massage, though, and talked a good game about how great it was, so I went along.
Well, any hint of doubt I might have had as to the effectiveness of Thai massage went out the window. In a word, it was amazing. We each had a two-hour massage regimen administered with the two of us together in a private room, which was appointed with all manner of relaxing sounds, scents and temperatures, and it was probably one of the most simultaneously relaxing and invigorating experiences I’ve had yet.
When we got there, we were shown to our respective locker rooms to change into a set of provided pajama-like, loose-fitting clothes. When I say “locker room,” this was nothing like your local YMCA. The room was paneled entirely with natural wood, warmly lit, and featured two saunas, several marble-tiled showers and a huge spa tub. There was nobody else in the whole place; it was like we had a palace to ourselves.
Next, Apple and I met up again in our private room, where there were soft mattresses on the floor that we were to lie down on. A young Thai masseuse was appointed for each of us, and they started by first washing our feet in a basin of warm water that was filled with small, polished rocks. After that, the lights were dimmed and the actual massage began.
Whipped.
And I mean tired.
Yes, that’s my excuse for why this site was neglected for the past week. I actually was on track to maintain the “post once every two or three days” schedule that I had fallen into since the new year started, that is until the Scheiβen hit the proverbial Lüfter on Friday.
I was just coming off a week of exceptional productivity at the office, wherein I actually finished ten Flash animations — plus an impromptu 11th on just hours’ notice — thereby crossing off my entire slate. After this feat, I was ready to enjoy a quiet weekend here at the house in advance of the Chinese New Year festivities on the 24th and 25th. But right at close-of-business on Friday evening, our Asia/Pacific office advised that they wanted me to review the API documentation for our software development products in advance of the following week’s major release.
Review all of the API documentation? I thought in bewilderment. That basically amounts to a 500-page, jargon-filled reference manual. They must be talking about something else. They weren’t. After clarifying it with one of my bosses, who heads up the AP office, I learned that I was indeed being tasked with going through the last 8 months’ worth of haphazardly-assembled documentation, acting as editor and proofreader-in-chief. An for extra fun factor, a large portion of this documentation was written by our Chinese developers, whose native language is obviously not English.
The ESOL-style writing I can handle, but when you combine the unique English grammar mechanics of a native Mandarin speaker with the fact that I have very little idea how to actually use our products — I’m not a .NET software developer, after all — it makes for an even larger challenge than you’d expect. I’m finding myself able to get through approximately 50-60 files a day, depending on their size. And their sizes do vary greatly. I always groan inwardly (okay, not so inwardly) whenever I open up the next file and discover it’s 3500 lines long.
These files aren’t Word documents or pure text, either. They’re C# source code. We use a C#-based help authoring system that compiles into a Windows standard CHM in Visual Studio. So I’m making my edits in the source code, using a software development tool that has no spell checker, no ability to wrap overlong lines, and only a rudimentary find-and-replace engine.
So, naturally, I had to tell the AP office that there was no way, absolutely no way, that I was going to be able to review all of the documentation in time for this week’s release.
Pizza Huh?
The developers of a new shopping plaza in Nanjing, China have done something amusing to attract the eyes of tourists, business prospects and gullible westerners alike. Rather than stick with plain vanilla facades on storefronts that have yet to be leased, they’ve created a “virtual mall” of parody shops and merchandise, taken after those of real businesses.
There’s some debate as to whether this is actually a mall filled with reproduced fakes for sale — the kind of stuff you can already find in China as it is — or just a publicity stunt meant to spark interest in the plaza. After doing some investigation, I tend to believe it’s the latter.
There’s no denying the hilarity of these photos, though. I particularly like the “KLG” restaurant whose sign depicts a fat chicken wearing a Colonel Sanders string tie.
Nice hackjob on the logo seal, there
At first I thought those letters on the left were 'OMG'.
Huh?
Kentucky Lickin' Good?
Sunday Slacking
Finally, another Sunday has arrived, that coveted day of the week on which I (usually) do no work. I put in some time at the office yesterday, managing to wrap up another two Flash videos, leaving 10 more to go. Some additional components of an ongoing sidework project arrived, but I’ll save them for tomorrow; the deadline is still two and a half weeks away. Today, I’m going to relax.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...
Apple hasn’t been feeling well the last couple of days — I think she got a cold, probably from her nephew Achi, who has been sick a lot lately — so neither one of us has been sleeping all that well. But putting a positive spin on it, I was able to get up this morning at an earlier time that I usually do, even during the work week. Our housekeeper is here today, doing the big Sunday housecleaning. While she’s busy, I’m hanging out on the back patio with the laptop, as you can see from the picture.
The weather is fantastic. There’s a strong breeze blowing near-constantly, keeping temperatures mild. The reports say it’s about 82°F out here, but it feels more like a pleasant 76 here in the shade. Given that everybody I know back home — family, friends, and colleagues — is dealing with historic snowfall, ice and winter storms, which in at least one case has brought with it a cracked house foundation and a leaking basement, I think I should be exceedingly thankful that I’m here right now. (Although I’m sure the weather at my own home in Florida is fairly pleasant right now, too.)
I should also be thankful, I do believe, for the work I have. With new reports of layoffs at my dad’s company, and the increasingly bleak employment and economic statistics coming out of the United States, it’s a good time to be gainfully employed. It’s an even better time to work for a company that seems to be in a fairly good business position, as my company seems to be. January, a historically dead month at my workplace, has instead been full of new business, new releases and custom contract work this year. We’ll be putting out four new product versions next week, releasing a major update to a fifth shortly thereafter, just landed a couple of new contracts for our most expensive service as well as several hundred hours of new contract work. I don’t know what’s going on, but I am the absolute last person who will be complaining.
It’s also good to know that my colleagues and acquaintances outside the office are doing well. A guy who I’ve done sidework for in the past, for example, just had his flagship product bought out by a large medical diagnostic firm, and I’ve been subcontracted to make some changes to his website (which I previously designed and deployed) at the buyer’s behest. It’s a good time for him, I’m sure, financially at least. Ironically, this is the same way this guy has made his fortune (he’s retired and in his mid-forties) — by creating innovative software startups and either selling them or getting bought out. He managed to sell one of his solutions to the government of almost every state in the U.S. before cashing in his stake. Not a bad way to get rich. And yeah, these are good contacts to have!
On a more personal front, I finally got around to posting a bunch of pictures to my Flickr account. The photo gallery integration with Oddball Update still hasn’t been completed, but you can see them all on the Flickr site just as easily. I’ve created a new set just for photos from this trip, so I’ll be filling it up with any pictures I might take on an ongoing basis. You can keep checking this same link to see new stuff as it’s added. And eventually I’ll get the Flickr integration up and running…I just have to fix about three dozen HTML files first. :rolleyes:
Nostalgia
The weather here in Thailand has been different this week. After nearly two straight weeks of rain, the sun came out, the cool breezes returned, and the wooden doors of our house finally started closing more easily again. I, however, was affected in a way more profound than simply not having to smell mildew in the open-air bathroom anymore. Something about the climate put me in the mood for nostalgia.
Yes, nostalgia. I’ve come to realize that it’s the greatest driving force behind my creativity. It’s why a part of me remains firmly anchored to my past, both good and bad, and why I still enjoy things I enjoyed as a kid or a teenager. I find no shame at all in this; rather, it’s more like a badge of honor. A badge that contributes to my resistance to change, yes; but a badge nonetheless.
When I unearth a piece of my past — like the MP3s I found of those old Star Trek childrens’ records that I borrowed repeatedly from the library — I get all giddy and want to tell somebody. “Look, it’s that old Star Trek album from Peter Pan Records where they had a guy playing Scotty who sounds more Italian than Scottish!” I’ll laugh, waving it around. Then I’ll listen to the godawful thing a whole slew of times. Then I’ll decide to use my knowledge of audio post-production and dub authentic Star Trek sound effects over the cheesy Moog synthesizer noises they used on the actual record. Yep: this is why it’s called Oddball Update, folks.
(Incidentally: The site where I found the Star Trek records also had an MP3 of the “McDonald’s Menu Song” promotional record that was issued as part of a $1,000,000 sweepstakes in 1988. So yes, there are other people who are every bit as weird as I am.)
This creeping nostalgic influence isn’t limited to silly old records from back in the day. Sometimes it applies to games. There are certain cassette tapes, songs and records from days gone by that immediately make me want to create some Wolfenstein levels. Mostly it’s because I remember listening to those recordings when I designed some of my best maps in 1994 and ’95. Still other times, simply watching a certain episode of Star Trek will suddenly remind me of a very specific circumstance, and even make me hungry for certain foods. Season one’s “Dagger of the Mind” makes me want some of my grandma’s home-cooked roast beef and dumplings, since I remember eating that at her house while watching that episode on her Betamax one time. Season three’s “The Empath,” meanwhile, brings to mind a balmy summer day in August, 1995, on which my parents went out for the evening, and I ordered a pizza and ate it while watching that episode. It’s like a Classical Conditioning exercise, or some kind of autonomic response.
Right now, though, the aura of nostalgia that surrounds me is struggling to manifest itself in a form of creative writing. It’s not that I’m nostalgic for the act of writing a story as much as I’m nostalgic for the settings and circumstances that I could write about. Today’s weather reminded me very much of a mild summer day in the Midwest; “back home on the ranch,” as it were, in Michigan. Unlike my current home of Florida, the Midwest is where the grass is green and soft, where driving doesn’t suck, and where there are actual deciduous trees that cast actual shade — but all only for six months out of the year. (See, there’s always a catch.) The mind always seeks what it cannot have, and while I have very little to complain about in my life today, some things I miss include the pleasure of driving on Midwestern roads, and the feel of soft grass beneath you as you eat a picnic lunch under the shade of a big, elderly tree.
Looking Out For Number 1
This is going to be one of those rare politically-themed entries, so be forewarned.
As we Americans prepare for the inauguration of our newly-elected president, I’d like for everyone to take a few deep, calming breaths. Because you’re not going to have time to stop and collect yourselves when the new Congress gets in session and starts trying to legislate from the bully pulpit, which — mark my words — is exactly what’s coming. The primarily Democrat Congress that We The People™ have assembled by way of our votes over the last couple of years has earned its utterly miserable track record, and I think we’d all be fools to expect them to display anything other than continued failure blanketed in self-aggrandizement, regardless of the integrity of the man at the top.
The point is this: Just because we have a changing of the guard, we are not exempt from our collective responsibility to monitor our elected representatives’ performance and deliver a response in kind. In fact, we need to be mindful of what our government will try to do to us, now more than ever — because it is a government whose revenue stream is eroding, thanks to the escalating recession.
Case in point: The report in various news outlets over the last few weeks that claim the federal government would like to raise the national gasoline tax to Europe-like levels — that’s a nearly 50% increase — and is also looking at new means of collecting revenue from drivers, in the form of GPS transponders. In layman’s terms, the government would like to keep track of how many miles you drive, where you go and when, so they can bill you accordingly. A pilot program for exactly this sort of thing is slated to begin this fall in the state of Oregon. In Great Britain, they’re considering a tax rate of US $2.44 per mile.
And why are the governments of the Western World attempting to foist this on us, at a time of economic catastrophe when many of us can least afford it? Because they’re upset and frightened at the loss of gasoline tax revenue brought about by — wait for it — the new driving habits of their constituents. In other words, because Americans got spooked by $4 and $5 gasoline, started driving less and buying more fuel efficient cars, the end result is that we’re collectively buying less gas, so the gas tax revenues are going down. The federal government uses that money to finance the upkeep and expansion of public roads and infrastructure, and that fund is running in the red.
So after bitching and moaning for months about how Americans need to stop wasting fuel and buy hybrids; after imposing a “gas guzzler” tax and creating incentives to buy more efficient cars; after setting chokingly strict new CAFE restrictions on the automakers; the federal government is now whining that they’re not getting enough money back from our sins, so they need to find some other sin to make money from.
Abso-fucking-lutely genius.
Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009
Here’s something I don’t do on this blog very often: a meme. A couple of days late given the subject matter, but better than nothing. Besides, this year I really am going to try to post more. 
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Tie between:
- Went to Thailand twice in the same year.
- Finally visited my company’s Kansas headquarters (I was the last employee who hadn’t yet been there).
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t really make any “formal” resolutions, but I did say I’d like to post on Oddball Update more, and I certainly failed at that one (there are 9 pages of topics for 2008, vs. 13 pages for 2007). I did, however, mention having the wherewithal to go with the flow and do what needs to be done, which I did accomplish to some degree.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister-in-law Cherry gave birth to a new daughter this year.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My paternal grandmother.
5. What countries did you visit?
Thailand. And the plains of Kansas, if that counts — at times it sure felt another country.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Willpower, particularly as it applies to making myself get some exercise.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Lots to choose from. Bad stuff:
- The day we found out that Apple needed surgery, earlier this spring.
- The day we found out that our first try at IVF didn’t succeed.
- The day we found rats in the attic and I watched $600 of money partially earmarked for my birthday present disappear in a flash. (Fortunately I made the money back from a sidework client a month later).
Good stuff:
- The day I landed a huge stash of Xbox games in Thailand. Score!
- The trips to Disney World that we took this year.
- Got my iPhone — practically a life-changing device.
- Apple’s birthday, during which we went shopping and had a relaxing evening meal at a nice restaurant.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Two big ones: Getting our brand new company websites and online store launched in January, and actually getting to the point where I am proficient in Flash CS3 (and to the point where I like it, too).
9. What was your biggest failure?
The failure of our first round of IVF was disappointing, but not a failure over which we really had any control. My biggest personal failure was the complete clusterfuck that became of a website SEO job I signed on to do. The site’s SEO performance went in the toilet shortly after I got my hands on it, and I never was able to bring it back up. I have no idea what went wrong, or even if it was my fault. But I suspect that I’ve cost myself a client with that cock-up.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Other than a plugged-up ear and a case of the flu, no.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My iPhone. Tie for second: My TiVo HD and my modified Thai Xbox.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My wife, for putting up with my erratic moods.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A handful of the United States Congress and a large swath of the American citizenry who seem content to throw the domestic auto industry out with the trash.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, HOA, taxes, IVF fund.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Starting our first attempt at IVF and hoping it was gonna work the first time. Also, I got plenty excited about the trips we took and the goodies I bought.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Probably “2080″ by Yeasayer, either that or “Ghost Love Score” by Nightwish.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) Sadder, I guess. To tell the truth, I don’t really remember how I felt during this time last year.
b) Fatter. (Working it off now.)
c) Richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercising, particularly riding my bike. Also, I think my wife was on the right track when she replied, “Relax and enjoy life.”
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stressing out over stupid shit, especially at work.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Working.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Nope. My one true love affair’s been going on for over a decade already!
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Of new TV programs: Battlestar Galactica, season 4.0. Hard to believe it was actually 2008 when it ran (from January through March). Of old TV programs: Deep Space Nine. I still can’t understand why I hated it when it was on in the ’90s.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Not really. I’m only counting personal acquaintances, though.
24. What was the best book you read?
Definitely something from the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Relaunch series. Probably “Unity” by S.D. Perry.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Symphonic rock! And MP3s of all those goofy old Star Trek records I used to rent from the library as a kid. Scotty sounds like an Italian plumber!
26. What did you want and get?
A ton of stuff, most of which I already mentioned above.
27. What did you want and not get?
A child.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I guess nothing stood out, because I don’t remember seeing anything that came out this year (other than the new James Bond film Quantum of Solace, which was good but not especially memorable).
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 28. Oddly, I don’t remember what I did. I know we went out to eat somewhere that evening. Just can’t remember where. I got my iPhone about a week later (had to suffer through the aforementioned case of the flu first) as a gift for myself.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I repeat: Stop stressing out over stupid shit.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
About the same as it’s been since, oh, 1994 — with the addition of greater awareness of new hair styling methods.
32. What kept you sane?
1) Hope. 2) Hobbies and personal pursuits. 3) Here in Thailand, tons of Star Trek.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Celebrities are completely irrelevant to me. As a public figure, Barack Obama sure was (and continues to be) inspiring.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The financial implosion and the political narcissism that contributed significantly to it, for which absolutely none of the involved parties took even the slightest responsibility.
35. Who did you miss?
I missed my two grandmothers, whom I don’t often see — one of whom passed away this year.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
All the guys at the Kansas office were really cool.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Don’t obsess over the “what ifs.” What’s done is done. Do everything to the best of your abilities, don’t worry about other people’s problems, and you should have no regrets. I know, I know…easier said than done, right?
Sawasdee Bee Mai
Sawasdee bee mai (happy new year) from Apple and me here in Thailand. We’ve finally rid ourselves of 2008, in which approximately 70% of the world fell apart, or at least that’s how it seems from the cornucopia of apocalyptic headlines that flew past our eyes during the last twelve months. Not that simply switching from December 31st to January 1st is a cure-all, but symbolically, it’s a nice way to clear away the past and start anew.
The last couple of weeks have been pretty standard, despite the Christmas and New Years’ holidays that usually turn American life into a whirlwind around this time. Christmas is celebrated in Thailand, but not universally, and it’s not a government or bank holiday. The Gregorian New Year is celebrated, though, so last night there were the traditional fireworks, countdowns and variety shows on TV. For the last week straight, we’ve been hearing fireworks and firecrackers going off around our house, and it all culminated last night in a warzone-like barrage of constant rumbles and bangs. (The constantly-barking dog across the street is probably pretty hoarse this morning.)
In addition to school vacations, some lucky Thai businessfolk (including the husband of my sister-in-law) have the whole week off. In my case, I haven’t taken any days off since I’ve been here, finding that a free weekend is rare enough to be enjoyed like a holiday when I can get one. And admittedly, today (New Year’s Day) I did basically work very little. After we got up this morning, we got together with Apple’s immediate family and had a celebratory lunch at a wonderful seafood restaurant, and then, after working for a few hours, we basically gave up and started playing computer games together. Which is also how we spent last night, incidentally.
Speaking of our lunch junket today, I have to record (if for no other reason that posterity) the fact that the Ruanmai Punnagann restaurant over by Prince of Songkhla University is absolutely fantastic. We had an array of somewhat cosmopolitan dishes that included one of the best renditions of “chicken and cashew nuts” that I’ve ever tasted, excellent fried sea bass in fish sauce, a huge platter of sweet-and-sour grouper with vegetables and pineapple, a big omelet filled with miniature shrimp, and a variety of other traditional Thai dishes (like Apple’s favorite clear noodle salad, yum woon sen). It was one of the best meals I’ve had at a restaurant in Thailand, so I’m happily adding it to my short list for future reference.
New Year’s Eve was spent in our traditional family style: Staying at home, playing computer games, listening to the fireworks outside and watching the countdown on TV. Apple and I discovered this game called Fitness Dash (her nephew likes to play it, otherwise we’d never have known about it), which I guess is designed for kids, and despite the fact that we’re not kids (although I have been known to act like one) we promptly became addicted to it. It’s a hand/eye coordination type of game where you play the owner of a gym, and you have to tend to all of your customers, equipment and operations to keep everything running smoothly. If you don’t take care of customers’ needs, broken equipment or other things that compete for your attention, the customers will get mad and leave, meaning you lose money. You have to do everything super-fast, so it’s basically a game of coordination with a bit of strategy mixed in.
Despite my usually preferring more “adult” fare like Fallout 3 or Silent Hill: Homecoming — both of which I am also playing and vastly enjoying on the side — I am not a bit sorry to admit that Fitness Dash is great fun as well. In fact, Apple is back there playing it right now. When she has trouble getting past a certain level, she occasionally offers for me to step in and help. Usually I can get it done. I suppose 22 years of using computers has made me a bit of a natural speedster when it comes to this sort of thing.
