Oddball Update

Okay, so I never saw the movie 300, in which Gerard Butler screams “THIS! IS! SPARTAAAA!” But I’ve witnessed that particular scene about a billion times since it became an Internet meme, so now of course it’s gone where all other Internet memes go to die: this blog. Seriously, any such jokes are guaranteed to be played out by the time I use them.

But in all seriousness, this is Thailand. We’ve been here a little over a week now, although it feels like it’s been at least twice that long. I would have posted something earlier, but this trip…well, how should I put it, exactly? Hasn’t quite gone to plan.

As part of our ongoing (and so far unsuccessful) attempts to have children, we decided to get ourselves checked out by a fertility specialist here. Having not had any further luck with conception, it made sense to make sure there wasn’t some major medical problem in the way. And of course, getting such examinations in Thailand is always a good idea because 1) it’s far, far cheaper, and 2) the standard of medical care here, on a personal level, is actually higher than in the U.S. in some ways.

We went for our checkup pretty much immediately, and as a result, our latest crisis started pretty much straight away.

To make a very long story short — and to prevent putting too many personal details online — the doctor noticed quite accidentally that Apple needed surgery to remove a fairly large cyst. This was quite a surprise, since she’d had no symptoms whatsoever that would have suggested the presence of such a condition. Since it could become malignant if left untreated, we scheduled the surgery right away. Unfortunately, laproscopy was not going to be sufficient, so Apple had to have open surgery.

The procedure was done this past Wednesday, and I’m happy to say that all went well. Apple is recovering now, although of course it’s going to take some time for her to return to 100% health after something like this. Fortunately, the local medical care here is outstanding — I guarantee that it’s better than you imagine. For a start, and perhaps most importantly, the hospital staff treat you with great care throughout, and let you spend plenty of time in the hospital for recovery after your surgery. (In the U.S., many hospitals try to boot you out the door as soon as humanly possible due to the need for space.) Additionally, because Apple is still technically a Thai resident, she was able to get the surgery performed for the whopping cost of one U.S. dollar under Thailand’s government health system. We only had to pay a nominal fee to the doctor himself, and a little extra for her to stay in a private room.

Now that Apple is home, and she has all of us — including her family — to help her and take care of her as she recovers, I am (needless to say) feeling a great deal of relief. Turning our attention back to the subject of having children, it looks as though we’re going to need technological intervention to make that happen, due to a variety of factors.

Since we won’t be able to start that intervention for a few months, while Apple recovers, we’re sort of in a holding pattern. Starting around October, we’ll be able to try some techniques that should help us conceive. They’re not guaranteed to work, but they have a fair success rate. Since the whole procedure could take months, you can imagine the thoughts that started going through our head. What do we do until then?

If we simply stay here in Thailand until the conclusion of everything, we might be here for as long as a whole year. When we left home, we prepared for the possibility that we might be gone for two or three months at the outside, and it wasn’t very likely that we’d be staying longer than one. Being away from home for as much as a year is going to be problematic in some respects — there will be some things at the house that will need to be taken care of, and hurricane season is coming. Our vehicles aren’t exactly prepped for that kind of long-term storage. Since I need to make some extra money for our upcoming procedures, which likely means taking on some side jobs, I’ll need all of my computer equipment (and low-latency Internet) in order to be most efficient. And speaking of jobs, being out of immediate contact from my boss back in America for so long might just start to test the guy’s patience, especially because of a legal situation my company now finds itself embroiled in.

I think Apple would prefer to stay in Thailand, though, so she can make sure to recover from her surgery as completely as possible. She also wants to get into physical shape for pregnancy, which she can best do here, what with Thailand’s healthy food (and all of her family support). And, not being at home, she won’t have the stress and worry of her job, housework or financial pressures.

So, if I decide to go back to the U.S. at the end of May as scheduled, I’ll find myself preparing to live alone during the summer. The anticipation of that time gives me a very strange sort of feeling. This week, when Apple went into the hospital for her operation, I slept alone for the first time in more than eight years, and in relatively unfamiliar surroundings to boot. It was awkward and felt very strange, although I’m starting to get acclimated a little bit. Imagining spending the next few months alone, well…it’s a little disconcerting, but I’m sure I can manage.

It’s been funny to think about this. Since Apple and I were last separated by a great distance, and had to communicate by phone and email, there have been a great many technological advances that will make it easier to stay in touch. Skype, for one, is a great way for us to chat without it costing a dime. Skype also offers a new service whereby I can forward my Skype account to a phone number, so Apple can reach me even when I’m not at the computer. (Admittedly, I’m there most of the time.)

Whatever we decide to do this summer, when autumn begins, so will our next — and hopefully final — stage on the road to conception. And then we’ll both have reached the goal we’ve worked toward for the last year: having kids of our own. It’s unfortunate that it had to be such a difficult process, but it’s not altogether surprising. I seem to have a history of having to work hard for the things I want most in life — my wife, my career, my favorite cars, and a whole bunch of other little things over the course of time — but I’ve always done whatever it took to make it happen, and this is just another circumstance where I’ll have to pull out all the stops to make our dreams become reality. I’m not that worried — because I’m certain they will, one way or another.

In the meantime, other than the unfortunate medical situation that befell Apple last week, I’ve actually been having a very good trip so far. I seem much better acclimated to Thailand this year than I was last year. That time, I admittedly started to get a little stir-crazy, but now I don’t feel that way at all.

I think this is due to a combination of factors. For a start, I become more comfortable and familiar with Apple’s (large!) family each time I’m here, and I think the reverse could be said as well, judging by how much everyone likes to make conversation with me. Additionally, I’m spending my nights at my in-laws’ new house, which is located in a serene and quiet gated community with a beautiful mountain view behind it. The addition of this “private space” here has helped bring a little slice of home to my experience, which — given that I am a very private and introverted person — greatly helps to recharge my batteries each day. I’ve been able to relax, read some books, listen to podcasts of local radio from Florida, and generally feel very much at home.

Now that Apple is on the road to recovery, we can be together again, spend time with her family and get back to enjoying our trip.

Topics: health, pregnancy, Thailand, travelogue