Oddball Update

Hello, I’m just back from two months in the future, where I got chased by a pack of kids on hoverboards and then went blind from staring at too many chrome license plates. Or, rather, I simply neglected the site and didn’t bother to post anything. You can believe whichever excuse you like. For the present, however, my friend Pooch reminded me that it was time for the second quarter edition of “Search for $A, Find $B,” a regular department of looniness here at the Oddball Update.

And so with that, let’s see what crazy search terms people have been using to find this site, shall we?

• oddball eggs (I wouldn’t eat those.)
• red holman pontiac service department review (Well, in 1998, I took my Grand Prix there, and they somehow embedded the oil fill cap in the underside of the hood. Since it is now 2007, your results may vary.)
• elexis cool (Yes. I guess she is, because you nutjobs will not stop searching for her.)
• serious challenge for this oddball (Excuse me?)
• journey to the center of the mind movie (There was a movie?)
• anime doug’s dugout michigan (I wish I knew. And ha, by posting it here, I’ve re-upped the search results for this term for another quarter!)
• phendimetrazine (Honestly, I don’t know either. According to Wikipedia, it’s a psychotropic drug used as a weight loss treatment.)
• engine oil light in my gto (That means you should either change it, or turn the ignition off and pray — depending on which oil light it is.)
• pharmacy (Just check your email; I’m sure you have about sixty spams from one.)
• joe sputnik (Weird. That was the name of a fictional ’50s diner I designed a logo for in college.)
• eb games resurfaces discs (Do they? You should probably thank them, given the condition of most of those trade-ins.)
• spockie (Mister Spockie’s Performance Corner? …Inside joke)
• chevrolet sv7 (So GM makes Supervocs, now?)
• rene auberjonois pronunciation (It’s “ruh-NAY uh-BEAR-shun-waa”.)
• haptic oddball (Oddball sense of touch?)
• uvanov dask (Ha! This made me laugh for some reason. Probably because it makes it sound like “Uvanov Dask” was one person.)
• latest update on s. fl lovebugs (Uhh…they really suck? Seriously, what did you want to hear?)
• apogee games zz top (Hahaha! This sounds more like a Perigee game! Play as Frank Beard!)
• beyond wolfenstein smith (This sounds really funny all by itself, but Wolfenstein old hats will remember the add-on “Beyond Wolfenstein 2″ by Nayt Smith, who received a cease and desist letter from Kevin Cloud of id Software for distributing the registered game’s graphics with his project.)

And by far my favorite, for undeniable laugh-factor:

• adolph hitler’s uncontrollable flatulence

Seriously. I saw a History Channel special on that once. It was called “High Hitler,” and for one hour, it focused exclusively on Hitler’s oddball drug therapies that Dr. Morell gave him to, among other things, cure his uncontrollable flatulence. I’m totally not making this up. Well, maybe History Channel was. But I’m not.

Tune in next time for more zany search terms, kids. I know I will.

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