Going About It The Wrong Way
I’ve been getting more and more interested in finding things we can do at home to help be more friendly to the environment. And yesterday was Earth Day. But seriously, if the “Hollywood elites” want people to get on board with the green movement, some of them are clearly going about it the wrong way.
Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.
Crow has suggested using “only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”.
BBC News
Are you insane? Are there not more useful, entry-level things you can ask people to do, Sheryl? Like switch to fluorescent light bulbs? Or turn off the lights when they leave a room? Or turn the water off when you brush your teeth? If you start encouraging people to make easy changes that they can live with, they’ll be more likely to voluntarily want to do more. If you ask them to do something ridiculous, like wipe their butt with one square of toilet paper — is that even possible? — they’ll just tune you right out and not listen to anything else you have to say.
Hell, I know I’m going to tune you out, Sheryl, because your disconnection from reality shows you’re apparently out of your mind. In fact, I have half a mind to deliberately ensure I never ever buy another album or song you have any part in.
And next time, Sheryl, just ask people to buy a bidet.
Categorized as Headlines, Rants, Rants/Stupid People
“Aah, here it is!”
DuffiSheryl Crow said, holding up the final sheet. “The 1995-96 summary report. And now, the total number of rolls of TP used by Captain Picard over the year…is 61,366!”DuffiSheryl Crow screamed whenheshe came to the figure.“HOLY SHIT!” roared everyone in a perfect Duke Nukem imitation. “He can’t have used THAT many!” some dude at an aft station cried.
“This is simply bananas! I didn’t use that many! You’ve got to be crazy!” Picard hollered at
DuffiSheryl Crow.BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Oh God, yes.
As soon as I read about banning TP, that story was the first thing that came to mind.
Anyway, how would one even go about enforcing that kind of “ban”? Will the government hire people to stand guard in washrooms everywhere to make sure bathroom users only use one sheet? And who’ll watch the guards when they have to use the bathroom?
That’s what I hate most about self-righteous celebrities like this - people (and the media) assume that, just because they’re famous, their opinions are somehow more valid, even if they’re just plain idiotic. I can whip up unrealistic, crackpot solutions too, but the BBC sure isn’t going to report them.
That’s precisely my problem with this kind of righteousness — most celebrities have no more technical or scientific understanding of what they’re recommending than the average Joe does. We’re just automatically supposed to care because they’re famous. Sheryl’s reasoning may be sound, but it’s so far beyond feasible or realistic for most people that I can’t believe she seriously suggested it. How about recommending something people can get on board with?
And I’m so glad that Sheryl Crow has a steady income from that cache of really terrible songs she’s croaked out over the past several years, which gives her time to sit around on her (apparently dirty) ass and dream of new, hyper-idealistic ways in which she can alter her life to be more environmentally friendly. But good luck convincing the rest of us, who have to work 40, 60 or even 80 hours a week, that we should give up toilet paper or find creative new ways to blow our noses on leaves when we barely have five seconds to get ourselves out the door for another grueling day at the office.
Try asking Al Gore how much energy conservation he’s doing. Last I checked, his campus of a home was chomping down 20 times the energy of the standard American household. Rather than change his ways, he buys “Carbon Credits” to offset his “Carbon Footprint.” Of course, the organization to whom he pays for these “Carbon Credits” is owned by him. Oooh, that’s convenient. Way to set an example there, Al.
Apple tells me that last week there was an “environmentally aware” episode of Oprah, wherein several experts attempted to get the audience to mend their wasteful ways. Oprah took issue with the advice to “take shorter showers,” claiming that luxurious showers are “her special thing” which she enjoys after a long day, and that she’d gladly cut back anywhere else but that.
How many of the rest of us have “special things” that we don’t want to (or can’t) give up? Driving a V8 muscle car is my “special thing,” the thing that gets me through a hard day or brings me unique enjoyment. Except I’m neither rich nor famous, so if the EPA comes a-knocking one day with a warrant to impound and destroy my “gas-guzzling” automobile, my only resource will be to buy an ugly, 1.2-cylinder subcompact instead and wear a fake shit-eating grin as it struggles mightily to reach the speed limit, endangering my life in the process.
Yep…whole bunch of self-righteous fucks ain’t gonna change any working stiff’s mind, and that’s a fact.
Oh, and this is the same Sheryl Crow who once had Overhaulin’ customize her ex-husband Lance Armstrong’s ‘68 GTO by filling it with a huge Pontiac 462 mill…that’s pretty environmentally friendly…
I’m sure that massive 462 was specially modified to run on ethanol. (snicker, snicker)
But even if it wasn’t, using (gasp!) four sheets of TP to wipe your butt is far, far worse than running a (leaded?) gas-guzzling monster like the GTO, right?
Somebody should put Sheryl Crow in charge of the EPA; we’d have all of our environmental problems licked in no time flat with all of her brilliant ideas! We’d also have feces-encrusted butts, but that’s a small price to pay for a healthy Earth!
So today Sheryl Crow is saying that when she made her toilet paper comment, she was “just joking.” Sure, of course she was! What else is a career-conscious celeb going to say when half the world backlashes against her. Even Rosie O’Donnell, fellow celeb cohort, had words.
“Just joking” is the same thing a punk kid says after remarking to a muscle-bound dude that he thinks Harleys suck, followed by muscle dude revealing that he owns four of them.