Search for $A, Find $B: 2006 Edition
About a year ago I posted a humorous sampling of some of the search engine keyphrases people are using when they stumble across Oddball Update. This seems to have become an annual tradition, so here we go again — I’ve culled the best of the best from my 2006 statistics archives. Bon appetit.
- bill knapps chicken fricassee (Join the club, brother.)
- super pachinko sexy reaction screenshots (Didn’t I talk about that years ago?)
- knight rider christmas (“Michael, I am not a reindeer.”)
- key hard truck apocalipse (Need a dictionary?)
- christmas music for wiolins (Is that you, Mr. Chekov?)
- lana impregnated smallville (Well then, I think we’d better abort it.)
- gruppo sportivo rock later (Huh?)
- final fantasy x skip cinematic (Sorry, pal. You can’t. We already tried.)
- the fat superboy lana (Okay, listen. Can you stop with the Lana stuff?)
- why can’t you be nice to me? (You’re asking me this?)
- agony booth (Down the hall and to the left, but it’s occupied. Stan’s in there again.)
- drywall strikes fear (Does that mean you’re afraid of drywall?)
- panty bandit (No, wrong number. You want some other bandit.)
- i cutup my toys r us card (Good for you. What’s that got to do with my site?)
- ninja magic nipple shock (Uhh…)
- oddball the pain game (Is this related to that last one somehow?)
- holy fucking shit it’s a dinosaur (Dude, you want YTMND.com.)
Also, somebody needs to stop searching for way-too-young naked girls. That’s just gross. And to the FBI: No, I don’t have any such pictures here.
Categorized as Site
Boy, make one post about Smallville…
Though I am intrigued as to how Lana could impregnate anything, much less the entire town of Smallville.
And the “Gruppo Sportivo” thing is from an old post of mine as well — from one of my posts about Puffy, in fact. Their song “Tokyo I’m On My Way” (written by the Offspring’s Dexter Holland) lifts its refrain from the song “Tokyo” by good old Gruppo Sportivo (about whom I know nothing else otherwise). Interesting that people would be directed here searching for them.
And you know, I was going to email you a while back asking if you were going to do another “search keyword” post for 2006, and I guess I plain forgot. It’s good to see it back, though, as I’ve always enjoyed reading them.
Also, I’m frightened that people are finding this site by searching for naked girls. What the hell?!?
Lastly, I like the “Blue Steel” theme, though the name kinda sounds like an aftershave. Or deodorant.
Hehehe, yep — your Smallville post (and, admittedly, some of our off-color comments about it) really stirred up a lot of search hits, for whatever reason. There were a whole lot more “Lana” references in there than what I listed here (and what’s with “the fat superboy?” What have they been doing on Smallville lately, anyway?).
The other hugely popular draws this year were “Elexis Sinclair,” “Bill Knapps chicken fricassee” (heh) and “Dead or Alive” releated stuff (mostly people looking for cheats, strategies or whatever — surprisingly, there was only one lewd search, with somebody wanting to see “christie’s breast.”
Yeah, I love the search keywords update. Actually, I think I should start doing it more often — maybe quarterly. There are just so many good ones. This month alone, for example, has a whole load of gems…which is ironic, because I haven’t even posted anything all month. In fact, nine people alone were still looking for that Elexis Sinclar bitch, damn her. And now that I’ve used her name twice in this comment alone, I’ve ensured similar such searches for the rest of 2007. Oy.
Unfortunately yes, some sick fuck was disturbed enough to search for naked 12-year-olds not once, but twice (with two different keyphrases) and still clicked on my site both times. What. The. Hell.
Oh, glad you like the new theme, by the way. Apple really liked it as well. It’s easier on the eyes — and on my CRT monitor, which does very poorly with light text on dark backgrounds. Also, it’ll be easier to read through my Nintendo Wii (which has a web browser built-in). Now I should go over there and post a comment from that thing, just for the fun of it.
I dunno about the whole “fat Superboy” thing. Maybe it somehow ties into my other Superman post, which was titled “The Superman Workout”. =P
Hah! I love that the frickin’ fricassee is a popular search item for your site. Though I’d wonder why someone was searching for it in the first place…I mean, Knapps went out of business, and quite a while ago at that. Did someone just have a hit of nostalgia and went searching, hoping that someone out on the intarweb shared their love of the fricassee? Or perhaps they were searching for the secret recipe to make it for themselves.
I heartily endorse the idea of more frequent posts about keyword searches. Just reading some of the phrases is a belly-laugher in itself.
Speaking of which, while “ninja magic nipple shock” seems to be a head-scratcher, I think the blame for that also falls to me. A long while back I watched a bad martial arts movie on TV that was about a group of female ninjas, all of whom had odd ninja magic attacks…and one of whom had an attack called “ninja magic nipple shock” or whatever (it was a long time ago, so my memory may be fuzzy, but it was something like that). That particular movie also had a woman who shot a energy blast (or something similar) out of her nether regions. I can only imagine I mentioned that particular film in the comments area about one of our movie discussions, and that’s why the site shows up for that particular search. Though again, why anyone would be searching for that crap in the first place, I dunno.
So you got a Wii, huh? How is it?
What got me laughing about the “fat superboy” remark was the wording of the phrase, which made it sound like Lana was the fat superboy. Hee.
Yeah, that fricassee has been hugely popular around here. And still is; it’s showing up again in the January ‘07 keyphrase list as well. I think that your second supposition is correct; back when I myself went a-Googling for the recipe (never found it, by the way), I located a whole bunch of other people in search of the same thing. I think that was actually a rather popular menu item.
Interestingly, one of my dad’s high school friends (who he still sees regularly) used to love the fricassee as well. I remember we all went out to dinner at Knapps once many years ago, and my dad’s friend ordered two platters of fricassee. Now that’s the dedication of a champion.
Haha, I seem to remember the “ninja magic nipple shock” now. It was back when we were discussing Asian comedy/horror films. Oh, I finally saw Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis, by the way. It was actually pretty damn funny. It tried a little too hard in some spots, but overall, worth the watch.
Yep, got a Nintendo Wii — Apple bought it for me for Christmas. It’s great fun, actually. Much more so than I would have thought. Even that silly remote/nunchuck thing isn’t half as bad as I thought it would be. Some of the controls are hard to get at because you have to keep repositioning your hand on the remote part, but the ability to just point and click on the screen is really awesome. Opens up a whole new dimension of user interfaces. So far I’ve only got three games, but the latest Zelda title is truly excellent. And that’s saying a lot coming from me, because I’ve never played any Zelda title, ever. El Shock!
The graphics don’t have anything on the Xbox360, that’s for sure, but the gameplay is — as per Nintendo’s usual — very strong on all the games I’ve played so far. The 360 and the Wii satisfy two totally different types of gamer, and I can be a little of both. The PS3 is a complete waste of “time, money and labor keeping you alive” — uh, sorry, I channeled Chief Mover Poul there for a moment — but that’s a rant for another day.
Great, now my search terms list will be full of “PS3″ for the next twenty hojillion years.