I can’t believe it’s almost 8:00 in the evening already. I feel like I just got up.
Last night, my mind was attacked by a sudden barrage of ideas that needed some kind of outlet, so I got up and spent a few hours working on a story. A total rewrite of a story I started a year or so ago, this “second take” seeks to be an improvement upon the first rendition in every way. Unfortunately, my creative streak didn’t end until 5:30 a.m., so that’s when I went to bed.
Got up today at 10:00 and set to work. Right away, my inbox was full of stuff. Never a good sign. Most of it was minor, except for one thing. I needed to whip up a sales presentation for one of our reseller clients in Saudi Arabia, and it needed to be done by tomorrow morning. It’s a not entirely unfamiliar task; this particular resller client often comes to us with very tight deadlines asking for very custom things to help him sell to his prospects. These prospects are often very large and very lucrative, so it’s obviously in our best interest to help him out. But it’s always a stress-inducer too — you know you’ve got to do it right because there’s only time to do it once. Which is never a good feeling, when you’re simultaneously not exactly sure what your client wants.
Today we had a general idea of what we needed to do, but with few enough specifics that there was a good margin for error. At least we have five business days to prepare the complete sales strategy, which gives us some review time with the reseller — that’s what tomorrow morning’s deadline was about; my boss will be meeting with the reseller to review what I’ve done so far, and I think he’s going to include me in the conference call. I’m praying what I have already is on the right track, because I spent all day doing it, at great expense of energy. I haven’t eaten dinner yet either, which I suppose is something I’ll get to here in a minute.
The weather wasn’t helping much today. One of the infamous afternoon thunderstorms came up around 3:30, and it poured like crazy, with lightning striking all around us. We’d always had very stable electricity supply down here, even during storms…but ever since Hurricane Charley in 2004, the power seems to go on and off a lot more often when the lightning and wind pick up. Today, in fact, it fluctuated to such a degree that it actually crashed my computer, which is on an uninterruptible power supply. I believe the issue was my laser printer, which is connected by USB but not attached to the battery backup side of the UPS (only the surge-protected side). It went on and off several times in rapid succession, and when I reached over to power it down completely to avoid putting undue stress on it, my USB drivers caused a Windows Blue Screen of Death. Fortunately, I had just saved my work!
After that calmed down, I kept plugging away and finally finished the presentation. I’m quite confident that it looks fantastic, but whether it looks like what the reseller wants it to look like is a complete and total unknown. I guess we find that out tomorrow during the conference call. Which I’m going to have to be there for. Which makes me nervous as holy fuck. I hate spending such massive amounts of time and energy on a project, knowing full well that it might be rendered totally defunct by further definition of the project’s guidelines or requirements. But so often, that’s the only way to roll. And when an international time difference prevents you from contacting the client in question before the deadline arrives, you just have to play Russian Roulette and hope you survive.
I was hoping to enjoy a nice dinner and a movie this evening, but that isn’t going to be happening. I’m too nervous about tomorrow’s call, which is when I’ll be finding out just how much hell tomorrow afternoon is going to be. I’ve got to step out and pick up both my parents and my grandparents from the airport tomorrow at noon, so there’s even more reason for me to pray that tomorrow isn’t another day like this. I remain hopeful that the “dinner and a movie” can be successfully rescheduled for tomorrow, as I’m going to need some wind-down time after this.
Anyway, I’m off to eat dinner. It’s either a hamburger or leftover chili. The hamburger sounds better, but after all that rain it’s gonna be unpleasant cooking outside — and, since I was supposed to eat the burger yesterday (we went out to dinner with my boss and his wife instead) and the meat has been in the fridge since 48 hours ago, it could be spoiled by now. Damn Publix beef is so lousy, it goes bad if you look at it the wrong way. As for the chili, it would be tasty, but for some reason I don’t feel like going through the rigamarole of warming it.
Gah. The end of the week can’t come soon enough.
Things have been going that way here today too. I won’t bore you with the long litany of stupid office problems. Suffice it to say my hot flashes were in overdrive and I kept having suspicious heart palpitations as a reaction to all the stress. I’m really becoming fond of the French attitude, described thusly: “When American experts begin making helpful suggestions to the French about increasing productivity and products, the average Frenchman would shrug as if to say, ‘Those notions of yours are all very fascinating, no doubt, but we have a nice little buisness here just as it is. Everybody makes a decent living. Nobody has ulcers. I have time to work on my monograph about Balzac, and my foreman enjoys growing his espalierd pear trees. I think, as a matter of fact, we do not wish to make these new changes you suggest.”
I think, as a matter of fact, I do not wish to be part of this rat race anymore.
I completely and totally hear you, and that’s the kind of psychology I’m endeavoring to keep running in the back of my mind whenver I approach a new decision.
I exercised it just today, in fact. My boss (who just got back from China) offered to give me (or sell me, at a low price) his 10-month-old Verizon Smart Phone. It’s one of those big ones with a huge screen that runs Windows Mobile, a slide-out keyboard, and push/pull technology that means your email is delivered to your phone before it even gets to your Outlook inbox.
At first I was all gung-ho about it, but today I told him I had changed my mind, and that he could proceed with his original plan (selling the phone on eBay). I said I wasn’t sure I was ready to bring a device into my life that keeps me in constant contact with all of my work email in a split second (to say nothing of the astronomical price of Verizon’s data access plans — well over $100 per month for the single phone when combined with voice service). My explanation to him was that I did not think I wanted to be shouldered with the expectation that I should immediately attend to matters whenever they arrive, regardless of whether I am at my desk or not.
His response was that he wasn’t sure there actually was such an expectation, but I explained that the expectation did not come from him (or the other managers) so much as it comes from myself. If I’m out somewhere running a legitimate errand or what-have-you, or out to dinner after business hours and an email comes in, my stress level is gonna get kicked up a notch until I can get home and clear my inbox back out again. That’s part of my personality, and I guess it makes me incompatible with the whole “constant contact” lifestyle.
Which is fine, really. I don’t think I want it.